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Retracing Steps.

At every different point of life, someone was always there. But it was always a different someone. And each time something like this happened, I was always confused, lost and had no define direction in life. This particular someone would just go away one fine day and you either find yourself alone again, or search for a new soulmate.
When you found someone that knows you so well and can be comfortable around you, you don't have to bear so much emotional burden, you'll know that there's always someone who really cares for you and its not the same kind of love that your parents can give.
I remember one year ago, there was once I was devastated and I gave that someone a call, without hesitation he came down immediately even after he bought his dinner at the food court to look for me. That's the kind of soulmate that I never wanna lose, because no matter what he will be always there. Until a point of time, I realized some people don't stay in your life forever, it's just a season. Though it's difficult to accept that fact, life still goes on.

Two particular people that I miss so so much but I won't state his/her name.

I used to have this close friend of my that I'd lost one year ago. She's always there for me, came up to my house late at night and took a cab home without complaining the cab fare and waste of time. Sometimes we could do our own stuff when we were together in my room, she'll read a magazine or anything and I'll do my own packing of my room or even go to the next room to talk to my mom. She used to have a towel as her "chou chou" and I always have my maomao w me. We always go shopping, sun tanning, chalets, almost everywhere together. If I encountered any problems in school, home, relationship or if I feel dejected or sad, she was always there for me, just a call away and she will appear in front of me in minutes.
I really miss that kind of accompany & I miss her even more.
I'm happy that you're happy :)

Another person whose always there for me. He always remember to bring me a fork when I have my noodles, always there for me no matter what. He always appear in front of me and will give that cheeky face that I always wanted to squeeze. There was once he piggyback me to the lift and we both fell, I won't forget that little scene. I was always late during meet ups, one hour or two he will definitely wait until I appear. When I reached, he won't even have a slight complain about anything. Every competition of mine, he will always be there to watch me play, to give me the little confident that I never had. Giving little surprises I love that makes me feel so so touched. He's always there when I tear, no matter what he'll definitely rush to where I am. Even how bad my attitude was, he will tolerate me and make me smile again. Sending me home from school without fail and making his way home alone and alot more.

That's life, the people I'd lost.
At least I'll definitely remember every little memories that you all gave me.

I don't always tell people little details about myself. But I decided to type out and think hard about little quick facts about me that only certain people know, knew, realized.

1) When I don't really know you, I don't talk as much as usual and some of my friends always said that I'm anti-social but the fact is that I'm not, and honestly sometimes I really like some people that really wants to make friends w me, but I just don't know what to say. I may sound a little disinterested but its because I do not know how to respond to their enthusiastic behavior. I'm not anti-social, I don't bite.

2) I always keep things inside and not saying out until someone really ask.
Someone once told me, 'Some things is better to remain unspoken'. If the current situation
is not that bad then why say out your heartfelt to make things even worst?
Sometimes shutting up isn't that bad uh?

3) I really hate being alone at home. There was once when I was out of love, and I tried staying at home for weeks. Till then, I realized how alone I was. When I opened the door, the whole house was empty, not a single shadow, voice. I really hate that kind of feeling. I'm glad that there's one group of friends that always came to find me during late nights if I need someone to talk to.

4) The fact that if I'm in a bad mood or if you pissed me off. I usually don't talk as much.
It either means that I expect a lot from you or you're making me really upset.

5) I don't like to use chopsticks, but fork. I guess only certain people knows about it.
The feeling of someone remembering little details about you makes your day, really.

6) I love surprises and of course surprising others. But in life even how many surprises you gave to people, you will never get a whole lot of it. It's better to be practical I guess.

7) And yeah, I hate my freckles. It is deem to be cute there but I really don't like it.
When I was young, I used to scratched it away, but it's always there!
Unique part of me, because not many people have freckles. Well I'm gonna accept it,
not gonna scratch it away anymore. teehee*

8) Before I sleep, I always like to fold the bottom part of my blanket where my legs are because when I was young I always fear that someone or something would bite my legs from below.

9) I love to eat chocolates, it always made my day when my mom bought a whole lot of chocolates home and in the past someone would always surprised me with that, aww.

10) On a boring, mundane side, I love long bus rides. I enjoyed sitting w my knees propped against the front the back of the seat in front of me, coiled up like a boneless snake drowning myself in the music that I love to listen and staring out of the window like a senseless idiot esp on the way home from your house in the past. But now everything seems so so different now.

And as so to conclude, not to deny it who do not have flaws?
I'm a crybaby.

I'll stop everything regarding you that's affecting me.

Slimming down even more, cool.